Sorry always comes to late.
sorry that I stabbed you
sorry that I ruined your life.
sorry that I've broken your heart
sorry that....
well fuck off, to late you've already done it, sorry isn't going to change it.
maybe they should just kill me and say sorry. well they are killing me, and I, I take it all with a smile. I just smile, as a sign, come on, stab me once more. here you get my trust, so you can tear me up too. let me give you a knife to stab me, not the right one? I'll buy you a new one. I'm bleeding, losing, losing that that kept me alive. I tried, I've tried to be a good girl, but they hate me, and being nice won't help. life is a jungle, only the strongest will survive. well I've tried, and tried, but I never won, and now I lose 'cuz I give up trying, I know I shouldn't give up.
"never give up" that what anyone would say. Well I'm sorry, I give up, because right now, I see so reason of going on, continuing this life.
there is no light in the dark. no point of return. am surrounded by black emptiness, that's shouting to me.
"You're FAT!"
"You're UGLY!"
"You're USELESS!"
"You'll never get anything in life!"
"NOBODY cares for a piece of shit like you!"
"FREAK!"
"BITCH!"
"You're so fat that you can't fit through the door !"
"You're fat if you get on a bus, the tires pop!"
"yes, that one there, she made a stupid joke!"
"she's soo ugly!"
"OMG look at that!"
"need another cookie? fat bitch !"
I cover my ears, but the voices are inside my head, they don't shut up. the loudest voice of them all from a woman, "you're useless, you don't ever do anything! we don't need you in our family, you're a freak, you don't have a life! you're nothing,nobody loves you. who could do that anyway? i wish you were never born!..."
I'm stuck there's no way that I can get out, the black is chocking me, it's trying to kill me, I feel pain, everywhere, but the reasons to that pain are invisible.
I shout for help, and I see hands, too far to reach, can't move, am surrounded by emptiness.
there is no point anymore. no waking up, because this is not a dream, it's real, it's happening life.
SORRY that I was ever born...
