pff almost through the exams, I'll be happy when I'm done with it.
but then right now I'm done with everything!
so sick of it!
I just need a lil of love.. is that so much asked?
the people I love dislike/hate me...
there's just one bloody stalker that claims to love me..
I feel just random pathetic...
I could use a lil understanding from people, a hug, a lil affection?
didn't think so :(
only thing I get is bullshit/troubles
- having a bloody flue isn't helping much i feel like shit!
-my brother that keeps bullying me and I can't do a thing back 'cuz if I do mum kicks me out of the house :(
- my parents that are just looking for reasons so they can kick me out, and they ain't hiding it :(
- school: I'm just tired of it, I just want to stop, it's stressing me to much, and the only thing the teachers do is giving me more stress, they get paid , so actually they should make that bloody homework, but no, they're giving us the bloody work, the essay for the end of this year, preparing a lesson for history, preparing a lesson for religion, making a task for this, one for that and the other 5 classes, then also a test for 3 classes :s like FFS what the hell?
fuck off
do your job and do it yourself!
am glad that I at least still have my boyfriend, yes sex is great to get rid of the bloody frustration :D but to be honest , he's a lil old...though he's sweet and stuff, I know I won't get married to him, not have his babies, there is no future for him and me. but I need someone to love, and I need to feel like there is someone that loves me... it's the only reason why I refuse to become depressed again :(
you know you always want what ypu can't have.. it's stupid, 'cuz you know it doesn't belong too you, but still You would do anything to get even a lil closer *sigh*
it's just weird, 'cuz I'm over it, I'm moving on, but still somewhere I miss her, it doesn't hurt like it used to, it's not ripping me apart any more when I think of it. I can live knowing it' will never come back, knowing that it'll be okay, hoping she 'll be al right... ah well I'd do anything to reverse the time :) but right now i cherish the memories, being happy that I at least had the chance, yeah I fucked it up, and I'm the only one to blame... *sigh*
I had the most weirdest dream ever but I ain't gonna tell it, cuz some where i hope it'll come true.. though i know it ain't possible
anyways
meery x-mas and a happy new year?
i'mm gonna skip the holiday days cuz i'm not really in the mood for it ;)
X Anke
